I have never really gotten much attention as an artist. And that doesn't bother me AS much as it used to. Funny cus when I was drawing animu stuff in college I got WAY more comments and favs than I do now (even tho my art has vastly improved lol). Anyway, the thing is, I get a lot more attention on the two sites I use to post mostly only NSFW arts ....that I can't post here. I'm just not feeling dA much anymore. I'm not leaving. There's many artists I care about seeing here. Comics I like to see update (lookin at you SOP and Stupid Fox and Wurr). But there's someone I miss seeing art from a lot who brought a LOT of joy to this site for me and she is in a position where she can't do art as much as she used to and I get that but I just MISS her presence here. The only person I feel even remotely happy about is the one consistent person who is always so encouraging and just a wonderful watcher. I'm not naming names but you know who you are I hope! And I am so so grateful for you, you make this place feel so much less empty and lonely.
But that's just it, with my artist friend's absence I feel really lonely here. This is probably the first time I've ever drawn more than her and I've been having a very off year. @_@ But not as bad as last year, which is good.
I dunno what the point of this is... I just really wish I could make friends easier. Both online and in real life I seem to find myself stranded and alone. And it's been that way my whole life and it really really hurts. And I do try to talk to people and get over my shy nature but nothing seems to really work. Often I feel like no one cares about me. And that I suck and I'm a loser.
I better stop now before I start crying. blejhhhh I dunno what the point of this is, saying all this isn't gonna solve anything but here it is, temporarily. I don't like leaving my feelings exposed for too terribly long. My depression has been very very high lately. I only changed shirts three times this week and mostly stayed at home feeling blank or very very sad.
the end :/
Eating: too much
Drinking: not enough